My Vampire Chapter 6

Secret Wishes

I knew going to school that morning would be tough before I decided to confront Ryan, I knew it would hurt if he denied me, and I knew it didn't matter. Although I had always been the girl to sit back and never say anything; he had gone too far. My chest hurt when I thought about what he would probably say and my heart debated with my mind whether what he was doing was really what I thought. I wanted to pretend that he had just forgotten to charge his phone. I wanted to pretend that he felt for me like I felt for him. I wanted to believe that I wouldn't break down when I saw him. But none of it mattered. I had to think about the child I may or may not be carrying. I had to think of this little almost-family's future. I had to think of me.

I went to school determined, and as my father dropped me off I said a short prayer. I hoped that I hadn't been forsaken, because today I would need all the mercy, grace, strength, help I could get.

I approached Katelyn while still glancing around, searching for my traitor.

“Hey,” Katelyn greeted as I reached her. Her round eyes held sympathy for me.

“Have you seen him?”

“No, I'm sorry.”

“He'll turn up eventually,” I tried to joke but it came out too serious.

“If he doesn't today, you could always go to his house,” she offered, “I'll even give you a ride.”

“Thanks,” I replied hoping that wouldn't be necessary.

“Everything will be okay,” she smiled as she gently touched my arm before turning to face the school.

“Yeah,” I replied just before the first bell rang.

I walked to the main office to get my schedule, hoping to see no one I knew, but knowing I would. My classes were usual smart-kid classes so I tried to predict what all I would need to buy for the classes. I predicted about a million notebooks and too many binders, and right when I started to get my mind off of Ryan and everything going on, I saw him. Innocently walking down the hall as if nothing had happened. Of course, he didn't see me. I sped up trying to catch up to him, and right when I got close enough to say his name I felt a hand grab my arm. I swung my head around quickly to see a school acquaintance from the previous year. Her name was Rachel Whitaker. We had many classes together in the past and I guessed she wanted to see if this year was similar.

“Ivy!” she hollered loudly as she pulled me into a hug. I tried to crane my neck around to see if Ryan was still in sight and he must have heard my name because he was looking in my direction. I had hoped that he would smile, or wave, but he did neither. He turned back around as soon as we made eye contact and practically ran in the other direction. I felt my heart fall, and when I turned back to Rachel I could barely concentrate on what she was saying. We walked to class together and I sat through the entire first half of the school day in a daze. My heart was shattered beyond normality and my blood was boiling. In that instant I had made up my mind that I would not let him win. I was not his whore.

The second the lunch bell rang I left the class and the still jabbering teacher behind; I had business to tend to. I walked into the cafeteria where the majority of the student body gathered for lunch, and as I scanned the room I saw Katelyn leaning against the wall talking to a fairly attractive boy. I would have called her over to help with the search, and although she would have been more than willing, I felt it would only be punishing her for my actions.

I left the building and went outside where the rest of the school population passed time. Usually the only people that hung around here were people I would have never talked to. Ryan was bound to be here. I scanned the people, and finally in the farest corner, found a blond boy sitting against the wall reading a book. I began walking towards him, my body beginning to tremble, and by the time I reached him I had lost almost all of the courage I had worked up. My blood rushed through my ears and my hands shook.

“Ryan?” I tried to keep my voice steady.

“Yes?” he asked without looking up.

“I think we need to talk,”

“I agree,” he replied again without taking his eyes off the yellow pages of a warn book.

“I don't think this would be a good place though, because I have something really important to tell...” I spoke too fast, but he cut me off anyway.

“No, this is a fine place to discuss it.” He finally looked up at me. He had dark circles under his green eyes, but other than that it was the same Ryan I had looked up at, in amazement, so many times before.

“Actually, no,” I started again, “this is a terrible place.”

“Listen, I know you like me and all, but you just aren't really my type.” The words that escaped his mouth were harsh and painful. I had no idea what to say so I let him finish, “I know what we had this summer was, what's the word? Special, to you, but I just don't do long term relationships,” He looked down at his book as he muttered a half hearted, “sorry.”

“Um, that's not really what I had planned to talk about,” I said trying to steady my voice, knowing the hurt was showing in my face.

“I really don't care, Ivy,” he spat, “what's done is done. Now if you don't mind,” Ryan stood quickly and walked around me leaving me standing there shocked that the mouth that had said such sweet meaningful words to me not long ago was the same mouth that had just slandered me and crushed my dignity.